


Tour of Duty: A Limerick of Epic Proportions

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Filk, Humor, M/M, Poetry, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-05-09
Updated: 1999-05-09
Packaged: 2018-11-10 14:53:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11129097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: A poetic tour through DS episodes.





	Tour of Duty: A Limerick of Epic Proportions

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

 

Tour of Duty - A Limerick of Epic Proportions

#  Tour of Duty  
A Limerick of Epic Proportions

###  Due South, The Movie

There once was a Mountie named Fraser  
Whose mind was as sharp as a razor  
With his wolf-hound named Dief  
And a firm-held belief  
His morals were straight as a laser

 The Mountie came south from The Yukon   
And the city named Jaw with a Moose-on   
Tuktoyaktuk was left   
Without him, bereft   
But Chicago he now was let loose-on 

 He met with a cop called Ray V   
Who's smarter than him - don't you see?   
But only round town -   
In the wilds he would drown   
Where Fraser is wiser than he 

 Fraser searched for the killer of Dad   
A Mountie who'd turned pretty bad   
When they caught him he said   
"Money went to my head"   
And the RCMP were all sad 

 They told Ben to stay in Chicago   
Or "as far as you possibly can-go"   
So he stayed there with Dief   
To the Mounties' relief   
And tried not to break the embargo   
    
  

###  Free Willie

A naughty young felon named Willie  
Was caught by Our Man - rather silly  
Bank robbers were got  
And the Stetson was shot  
Leaving poor Fraser's head rather chilly  
   
 

###  Diefenbaker's Day Off

The newspaper lady MacKenzie  
Went into a story-tell frenzy  
When she couldn't print 'owt  
She did stomp and did shout  
And got angry with our poor man Benzie  
   
 

###  Manhunt

He aided a Mountie called Buck  
An Officer down on his luck  
Pursued by a felon  
Buck felt like a melon  
Until he regained all his pluck  
   
 

###  They Eat Horses, Don't They?

The meat at the Mall was all bad  
Made a little boy ill, poor young lad  
Horse-grinders were found  
Selling "beef" by the pound  
Making everyone feel really glad  
   
 

###  Pizzas and Promises

He poses as car-salesman Billy-Bob  
Undercover to spy on those-who-rob  
Lenny of his new car  
Diefen-b tracks it far  
And recovers it back from the mob  
   
 

###  Chinatown

A Chinaman named Mr. Lee  
Got in trouble with Tong, he could see  
That if mob-rule allowed  
Servitude of the crowd  
Not one of them would e'er be free

###  Chicago Holiday

Fraser guided the diplomat's daughter  
She ran far away, so he sought her  
All over the town  
High and low, up and down  
Right up to the end where he caught her

###  A Cop, A Mountie and a Baby

A baby got left in the Riv  
They searched where the parents did live  
But all they could find  
Parents' love was so blind  
That to others their son they did give

###  Gift of the Wheelman

They brought in all store Santa Claus  
For allegedly breaking some laws  
But the Wheelman's plan  
Duped them all, to a man  
But for Fraser, who found out the cause

###  You Must Remember This

A lady ran over poor Ray  
Revived him, by mouth, where he lay  
She had to depart  
To the smugglers out-smart  
Although he'd have liked her to stay

###  Hawk and a Handsaw

Fraser wants to pretend to be nuts  
He won't listen to Ray's ifs or buts  
Cause of death he must find  
Searching each shattered mind  
Breaking bonds, through the muddle he cuts

###  An Eye For An Eye

The neighbourhood's new vigilante  
Obeyed only those laws of his fancy  
Dief was suffering too  
Fraser said "What we'll do -  
Ten minutes - we burn Tam O'Shantie!"

###  The Man Who Knew Too Little

The boys had to transport a liar  
To Canada, but he raised ire  
Canuck Mafia sought him  
And darned almost caught him  
The poor Riv ending badly on fire

###  The Wild Bunch

Dief is acting all secret and shady  
It turns out he's courting a lady  
But he bites Dog Patrol  
Sentenced without parole  
But escapes with the help of his baby

###  The Blue Line

A Hockey star, Smithbauer by name  
Liked the cash, adulation and fame  
But he got a bit greedy  
And of Fraser's help needy  
His excuses were weak and quite lame

###  The Deal

Raymond V saves a man from the mob  
A young shoemaker they're out to rob  
Zuko learns the hard way  
That you pay and you pay  
When he gets all the blows Ray can lob

###  An Invitation To Romance

Fraser's boss makes him present a letter  
To a lady, he's only just met her  
When she says she's in love  
He thinks "Heavens above"  
Her fiance comes storming to get her

###  Heaven and Earth

A tramp with the gift of insight  
Held the key to a kidnapping night  
Though he blamed our Red Hero  
Who was nowhere near - though  
The man was, at least, partly right

###  Victoria's Secret

Lost lover comes back to his life  
Causing melodramatics and strife  
Fraser's head-over-heels  
Can't believe how he feels  
But losing her cuts like a knife

###  Letting Go

The recovery's painfully slow  
Ray's sorry, and sure lets him know  
That he'll stick by his friend  
From right now to the end  
And he's got to do much letting go © Caroline Mockett 1996  
Please  
do not reproduce in fanzines etc without the prior permission of the  
author  
 **To Be Continued....**  
North, Vault, The Witness, Bird In The Hand, The Promise, Mask, Juliet  
Is Bleeding, One Good Man, The Edge, Starman  
(When I've seen them!)  
   
   
   
 


End file.
